ARE YOU REALLY FREE?

With the 4th of July  quickly approaching, there have been articles all over the place discussing Independence Day, the meaning, family traditions and all type of things. After reading a few I began to wonder... Am I Really Free??

So for you guys to follow my train of thought we will have a brief history lesson courtesy of  Wikipedia (because if Wikipedia said it, it has to be true! lol) :  

"During the American Revolution, the legal separation of the Thirteen Colonies from Great Britain occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia.^[4][5] After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which had been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principal author. Congress debated and revised the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4."

So, technically the colonies were free from Britain's control on July 2nd, but didn't deem it as official until they completed the DECLARATION of INDEPENDENCE on July 4th!! 

Wow!!! That makes me wonder...are there some things in my life that I am free from, but not able to walk in liberty because I haven't said it is so!! Are there things in your life that your have been granted freedom/ independence from, but haven't been able to bask in that freedom because you don't believe it is so?  

The first thing that popped into my mind was my self esteem concerning my physical attributes. Fact is, when I made the Big Chop I cut away my hair and so much baggage. My BC made an outward expression of what I felt was transpiring inside! You know, the mental shift that occurs when you finally see your self as the amazing creature that God created. But did that make me FREE?

For me, Aug 17 (the day I BC)  is when I made a legal separation, but do I really have an Independence Day? Of course I see myself differently and embrace all that is natural hair, the mindset, the lifestyle, but when did I really DECLARE my freedom from a wack self esteem and feelings of inadequacy? Did I make an outward expression of what I would have hoped was an inward change  with no results?? 

I have come in contact with many sisters, who are struggling and are considering returning to relaxer or have because they made an outward change ( BC or transitioned) with no inward changes, and especially no DECLARATION!! 

For the colonist, although the vote was cast, the decision was made, a legal separation was complete, they felt the need to DECLARE their INDEPENDENCE.  But Y? 

When you DECLARE something, you are making it obvious, apparent, and evident!!!  So it wasn't enough for the colonist to just receive their independence  they wanted it to be known and so should we. (This is not to negate the amazing gift of freedom that God has given us, but even that you have to DECLARE to receive.)

But what about the freedom that we receive when we decide to walk away from what our society defines as beautiful or good hair. What about the freedom we receive when we decide to dismiss our own hangups and distorted feelings we have towards ourselves. As women, no matter the race or hair type we all struggle with some kind of self esteem or image issue.

 

So ARE YOU REALLY FREE?  If not, today is your independence day. Today you can DECLARE you are free from what society says is beautiful, because the reality is you're a BAD MOTHER... Shut My mouth.(LOL)  

A DECLARATION isn't about others knowing you are FREE, IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU!!! Its an official start of a new life, a new day!!  The Colonist knew they were legally separated and were free, but DECLARED it for themselves as a sign of strength, power and authority. 

Today is an opportunity to DECLARE your freedom from whatever it is that you have separated from, but haven't had the joy of basking in the Independence.  So yeah you BC or Transitioned an outward change my friend isnt enough. You did the hard part endured all the comments and questions, but ARE YOU REALLY FREE? 

I am !! Because I DECLARED IT!!!! You should too!!!

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!! Remember living unConsciously is not sexy!! 

StephnikkiBB

Oh How I Have Missed You!

Well hello friends! It has been forever since our last chat, literally! So much has transpired in the last few months. I now have a few more letters at the end of my name ( graduated from Grad school, Whoop Whoop), the hubby and I celebrated our 5th year anniversary, and several other things that I won't bore you with.
I just wanted to say Hello and encourage you all to stay tuned. I will see if I can kick this thing up a notch!!!!  I hope in future post to share with you some things that have been on my heart and of course dish about my hair!!! Oh How I Have Missed This! I just wanted to S/O one of my DFW Curlfriends ( check us out on fb) who is constantly encouraging me to get this show on the road. Thanks for the motivation Shaqualia! Love ya Chick! Until next time... live consciously because unconscious living is not sexy!! XOXO stephnikkibb

Who's your SHE - RO???

Hey all! I hope your weeks are off to a great start! As Black History Month ends and Women's History Month begins I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on the those who have come before us... those trailblazers whose shoulders we now stand on!!!

So who stands out to you? Is there a hero in your life.. African American??? Woman??? Is there someone whose story mirrors the person you aspire to be?  I definitely have a few of those! I think about women on a global scale, women on a national scale, but definitely cant forget the women who have poured into my life right here at home.Of course there are the familiar heroines..

Sojourner Truth, Mother Teresa, Mary McLeod Bethune, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Mead... Ladies making headlines today like Michelle Obama, Condeliza Rice, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Joyce Roche, Malaak Compton Rock, Oprah, Rossiyskaya Gazeta.... just to name a few (I'm sure I missed some amazing women).

My personal SHE-ROES are of course the women of my family...  I know I am the fruit of their labor and don't take it lightly... But then there are heroines like Daisy Bates, Shirley Chisholm, Angela Davis, Susan B Anthony, Toni Morrison, and Maya Angelou whose journeys inspire me to my inner most core. They show me what success and persistence can do. They show me that I can change the world ... by deciding to be conscious and not comfortable living without feeling!!! Each of these women's stood out from the crowd in their perspective avenues and made a lasting impression! The world is now a better place because they were here.

  SO WHO IS YOUR SHE-RO??? Share... maybe she can inspire us too!

unCONSCIOUS living is not sexy!

Are you an asset or a lump on a log?

So anyone that knows me knows that I love to be involved in my community. Partly because I love my community and want to be a change agent, but if I am honest with myself and you guys, it's because I am so nosey that I am scared I would miss something. SAD BUT TRUE!

Seriously, I think it is imperative while you guys take the journey with me to living a CONSCIOUS life that I ask.... 

Are you an asset or a lump on a log? 

What’s going on around you? Are schools facing layoffs? Are senior citizens isolated? Are little girls struggling to find themselves? Are little boys looking for a male figure?

There is always something that we can do. You have gifts and talents that your community is looking for. You have a problem with the things that are going on in your community? Do something about it!! I think if we have not learned anything this year, we have witnessed Egypt’s ability to advocate for themselves and their future generations. Their uprising has reignited the ability for the common man to prevail.

One of my favorite quotes by Margaret Mead, the world renown cultural anthropologist, says “Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have.”

So how dare you sit there like a lump on a log with your cute self!! Your community is waiting for you. Make a difference, get involved! Do Something! I believe you are an ASSET! Don’t you?  

For opportunities to get involved check out the websites  below or local agencies near you. You can locate service providers in your area by checking United Ways 211 or dialing 211 from any land line phone. Start service groups with your friends. Do something at your church! Be Creative! 

Do Something.org   Serve   Big Brother Big Sister

unCONSCIOUS living is not SEXY!

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE..

Each Thursday I will take a moment to share a truth with you all. The topics will always vary. The truths will be my own personal truths; truths in society or any other topic I want to put on blast! So here it is…
HAVING NATURAL HAIR IS HARD WORK!
I think we (myself included) as naturals are so excited about our own hair journey, that we leave out some very important details when encouraging others. We forget to share the trials because the benefits are so great. So here I am shooting from the hip! POW POW

As my mom always tells me, “anything worth having requires hard work,” and natural hair is no different. To really achieve healthy natural hair that you enjoy it requires TIME! The time you spend in the beginning, figuring out what works for your hair is not time lost, but time invested. Your healthy crown will thank you with great length and banging style in the long run.

So I can already hear some of you... ugh, she’s so negative! Nope!  It’s my truth!!!
So this is my opportunity to share with you the real deal about being natural, which I adore!
GO TEAM NATURAL!! FIST PUMP

That brings me to the most important lesson I’ve learned since my BC (August 2009).
PATIENCE GRASSHOPPER!!!!! Beautiful healthy natural hair will come!  But honestly it will take WORK. The more time you spend managing your natural hair, the more you will become aware of what it likes. Believe me when your hair doesn’t like something you will know it. Listen to it, be in tune with it, and get to know it… See being CONSCIOUS affects everything!! (Sorry I couldn’t help it.)

Honestly, I do owe a great deal of my hair success (cause I have definitely had my days crying in the bathroom floor because I couldn’t de-tangle my hair) to the fabulous ladies of youtube, CurlyNikki, and other blogs (I will be providing links to my favs soon). Their willingness to share their success and failures really eliminated some undo stress for me and my hair. They helped me weed out bad products and also pointed me in the direction of products that work. The reality is EVERYTHING DOESN’T WORK FOR EVERYONE!  So where the ladies advice and expertise stops you have to take over.

So get connected… If you are considering going natural, newly natural or an Old Head... there are tons of great resources available. Do your research! Going into anything this important blindly is crazy. People perish because of a lack of knowledge.

But all that said, Deciding to “Go Natural” has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Not only did it kick my swag up to a ten, but the mental shift is worth it alone. The ability to truly embrace myself as my creator made me is overwhelming and is a feeling that never gets old. It helped me walk into a new level of consciousness; actually it is what brought on my awakening! So, Yes Being Natural  is Hard  Work, but so Worth It!  AREN'T YOU  DO FOR AN AWAKENING???  

unCONSCIOUS living is not sexy!   
Enjoy Living CONSCIOUSLY,
StephNikkiBB

YES INDEED….I DID IT!!

So, after much encouragement by my husband, friends, and coworkers… I have started a blog!!! I am not sure if they think other people would be eager to hear what I have to say? or they are just tired of listening? Either way I am ecstatic to get started!!! Right now I am a full time graduate student, working a full time job, and working as an intern (20+hrs a week). Needless to say I am a little stretched for time. But have no fear, post here will pick up when I get my life back :)

I am sure some of you are like Steph… or Nikki … what’s with the name?! Well my name is Stephanie and my nick name is Nikki!!! There are so many people in my life who refer to me as one or the other that I refuse to choose!!! So for the purpose of blogging and tweeting I am STEPHNIKKI BB!

Sooo now that that’s out of the way, still one question seems to be lingering…. Why CONSCIOUS KINKS AND CURLS????? Thank you.. I am so glad you asked. (lol) I am a very CONSCIOUS person, sometimes almost to a fault.  Just so you can see where I am headed, but definitely not to insult your intelligence, conscious is mainly being aware of your thought, feelings, and surroundings. I firmly believe that people go throughout life unCONSCIOUS. Like robots. So caught up in the day to day that they literally might as well have been sleep because nothing affected them. They are numb! Nothing makes them angry, nothing makes them happy. Nothing moves them because they are unCONSCIOUS! So I pride myself in being aware, in tune with  myself, my environment, my community, my family….
It is my life's goal to ensure that the world will be different because I was here.

The KINKS and CURLS refers to my hair. Going natural has definitely changed my life! It is a journey, a bumpy road… but one that I walk with pride! (PUMPED MY FIST IN THE AIR.) I will definitely be sharing details soon and often!!!

Just a couple of things to help make reading easier: I love punctuation! I am naturally a very animated person, so I will use punctation to aid and covey how I am feeling. So english teachers beware. :(  I also am using this blog as an outlet and love to hear other peoples opinions so feel free to share! Believe me I am not doing this just to “hear myself talk, “ although I do love the sound of my voice! LOL Last but definitely not least… I am not an authority on the topics in which I speak! I am merrily ejecting my thoughts and opinions into everyday life and I appreciate you joining me!!!
Thanks for visiting!

TTYS, enjoy living CONSCIOUSly cause unCONSCIOUS living is not sexy!!!